The uncommon sense of the Defence:
By Rob Roman
Oscar Pistorius was up once late on a Valentine’s Eve.
Reeva Steenkamp, his Boo, in his bed was sleeping soundly.
Oscar walked on his stumps, turned off the fan closed the curtains and the balcony doors most roundly.
Then Oscar heard a disturbing noise most profoundly
In the now pitch black darkness, oh so true, Right below his sleeping Boo
He grabs his gun most heroic and , needing no shoes, follows the intruder noise most stoic.
The upstairs bathroom window cracked open wide. Oscar worried an intruder was inside.
He heard a noise inside the John, he had no time to put his legs on.
He raised his gun up near the shower, to blast that thief with the spiderman powers
He fired some rounds right throught the door, his terrible error would soon cause quite an uproar.
For the anguished screams he heard inside the Loo, sounded very much like his precious Boo.
Breaking the door down with a bat, there in the back his bloody victim sat.
Screaming in anguish and wanting to hurl, he clomped over to her body and he yelled like a girl.
She was clinging to life, but she’d have to wait, for Oscar to put his legs on to rescue his date.
Down the stairs like Gone With the Wind he carried his dying amor
So he placed her on the floor. He’s sorry, and he won’t do that no more.
Oscar says his trauma has shaken him to the core.
He’s a famous athlete, and so it seems, he’ll be forgiven, even pardoned by the Queen.
By Rob Roman
When you hear something slam and you step up like a man, that’s amore
Whyen gunsmoke starts to fly in your nose and your eyes, that’s amore
When you yell at your Boo, make her hide in the loo, that’s amore
When you’re deep into guns and you’ve ordered a ton, that’s amore
When you scream at her more, fire four through the door, that’s amore
When your girl hits the floor and the blood starts to pour, that’s amore
When you try to get off but you act like a sloth, that’s amore
When the truth hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore
When you lie like a rug in the courtroom so smug, that’s amore
When you barf in the bucket, then go clubbing and say “fuckit”, that’s amore.
When the judge knows it’s true, but can’t throw down on you, that’s amore
SO it’s culp homicide, and a short prison ride, that’s amore
When you owned the am-mo, but the judge says not so, that’s amore
when she makes you turn pale at the prospect of jail, that’s amore
When the dog’s had his day and it’s time that you pay. that’s amore
When you’re chucked in the slam, with 12 mean sons of Sam, that’s amore.
The resolution of the prosecution
by Rob Roman
Reeva Steenkamp and Oscar Pistorius had a big argument all on a Valentine’s Eve
He soon became quite contrarious
The famous model was inconsolorious. The Olympic runner was awfully pistorius.
Oscar spoiled the mood and his options weren’t so various.
Oscar soon became extremely furious
Because to Oscar Mayer’s weiner, his Boo was quite ignorius
For Oscar, this was none too glorious, there was no way Reeva would let him near her clitorius
Oscar was none too pleased, in a rage he did something to Reeva quite unforgiveorius.
Reeva packed her things, screamed, ran into the toilet and locked the doorius.
She took her phone. She wanted to call a friend or maybe the cops in Pretorius.
Oscar was uproarius, he grabbed his gun from under the bed, never looking for his Valentorius.
Not wearing his prosthetics, he charged across the floorius.
Oscar approached and fired four shots throught the locked toilet doorius, he claims he never heard a single soundorius.
With the cricket batted door down, Reeva was fatally wounded and bloody on the floorius.
The scene was rather goreius.
Oscar thought “My God, what have I done?
I better think up a really good storius.
He’s sorry now, but for sudden rage he’s got a good track recordorius
Now he’s on trial for his actions and he shakily hopes to be victorius
Oscar claims he’s broken no Statutorius
He was just protecting himself and his Boo, of courius
He can walk on his stumps, no problemorius.
Others weren’t so sureorius
Fewer people believe him any moreius
What with all those awful photos, and Reeva on the toilet floorius
Take out those papers
by Rob Roman
Take Out those papers and the Trash
Or you won’t get no spending cash
And after youy have done all that
Bring in the dog and put out the cat
Clicketty Clack – Don’t talk back
Reeva don’t you give me no dirty looks
Your Dad is hip, he knows what cooks
If you don’t iunlock that toilet dooor
You ain’t gonna do TV no more
Clickety Clack – Don’t talk back